Frequently Unasked Questions
At FUQs we have answers to questions we knew you’d never ask. Here is our pick of questions from a mélange of the real and unreal. Please do not ask us if these are true stories because we truly do not know anymore. What we know is that you are spending time reading this page, and we salute you!
Do you have gift vouchers?
YES ! We are glad you asked!
For years, the concept of a Dilapidation Report Gift Voucher has consumed our imagination. As engineers, we’ve been fascinated by the idea, which is evidence we know a thing or two about how to have fun.
Whenever we mention it at company gatherings, we get laughs and eye-rolls. Encouraged by our therapist, however, we took the leap.
So here it is: the unexpected gift no one asked for, but everyone needs!
Delight your dear ones with a present that will have their homes talking back! Imagine the rewards in hearing, ‘Thanks to your gift, my house has never been this well-understood!'”
You really want a Dilap Group gift voucher? Looking to provide a gift that resonates from foundation to rooftop? If so, we salute you (again)!
Email us to [email protected] and one of our crack detectives will be in touch.
How would our clients thank us?
…What a wonderful effort everyone, you never disappoint-Jeff.
…I cannot thank you enough for such a quick and professional response-Michel.
…Love your website too! -Jenny.
…I must say you guys are running a nice ship-Rondha.
…Hi Nadda, I copied my friend Marcus, I told him about your great dilaps and he’s keen for a quote…over to you Marcus-Ian.
What’s a recent addition to your Wall of Fame?
The Dilap Group Wall of Fame showcases the peculiar findings that have made even us seasoned experts scratch our heads. The latest find on one of our recent surveys was “The House of Hidden Doors” –
A property we once surveyed had so many secret compartments and hidden doors that we felt like we’d stepped into a mystery novel. The owner was just as surprised as we were! And in case you are wondering, our Indiana Jones impersonation came free of charge. At Dilap Group we believe in keeping life’s surprises just like that-surprises!
I would love to work for Dilap Group, what do I need to do?
You seem to be a determined and curious individual looking for answers even in the midst of time-wasting FUQs. Or are you a person of leisure with ample time to read this stuff? Either way, we like you already. Share with us 3 imperfections of this website, and 3 imperfections of yours (if any). Email your recommendations for improvement (and resume) to [email protected] with subject “I am what you are looking for…” We so much look forward to meeting you. Be bold (psst…a succinct one-page CV will make us look twice). It will pay to look at our Career page also. Good luck.
Are you a bored member of the Dilapidated Society?
No.
